ROJBİN DENİZ

Shengal – Life is white in Yazidism like the white dress of Yazidi women. Yazidi women’s braids symbolize nature. Every Yazidi woman wears a white dress and has a braid. They wear a black and white kofi (a kind of hat) on the head. There are motifs of the sun, moon, and stars on their kofi.

Yazidi women face a life and death situation during every edict

Yazidi women protect Yazidism. They wear brown dresses during funerals because brown symbolizes earth.  Yazidis believe that every creature has the right to live. The sun, moon, stars, air, water, earth, and fire are sacred elements for Yazidis. Fire is a Zoroastrian symbol. Yazidi women protect all these sacred elements. Yazidis have faced a totally 74 edicts and the last edict (genocide) against them was the attacks of ISIS in 2014. Yazidi women face a life and death situation during every genocidal attack.

Lives broken to pieces, unknown fates

As NuJinha team, we continued to visit Yazidi villages to learn their stories. In every village we visited, everyone knows who was abducted by ISIS and who faced what. Some don’t want to talk about what happened to them while some want to share everything they faced. “Those days were like hell,” says everyone we met. The lives of Yazidis were broken to pieces, the fate of abducted people is still unknown, and their childhood was stolen from them and mothers lost their children. The genocide has left people having no hope for the future. Survived Yazidis live at the edge of death and life.

“My whole family was taken captive by ISIS”

We tried to find a family that had been taken captive by ISIS in Shengal. We found a family of 12; the whole family had been taken captive by ISIS. The family has a house with a big yard. We were warmly welcomed by the family. Dayê (mother) Koçer was baking bread when we entered the yard. We first introduced ourselves. Dayê Koçer began to talk about what they had faced during the genocide before we asked her. “They (ISIS) took us captive. They held me captive for three years and three months. My middle daughter was held captive for 40 days and my daughter Ezra was held captive for three years. We paid a ransom for my sons to rescue them. I was taken to Raqqa. I was rescued after SDF (Syrian Democratic Forces) liberated Raqqa.”

Ezda and her sisters were among women abducted by ISIS

We spoke to Dayê Koçer while Ezda was sitting in silence. “I don’t want to talk about what I faced,” Ezda told us. We thought she was angry with us but her mother told us she is nervous since her childhood. Ezda listened to us for a while when we talked to her mother. Then she wanted to talk to us. “What I faced wasn’t my fault. They took me when I was a child playing games with my friends. I am not responsible for what happened to me. This world is sinful; this world is responsible for what happened to us. We faced many things that cannot be explained in words. There is no need to talk,” she said.

“Why did they do this to me and my sisters?”

As we talked with Dayê Koçer about what ISIS did to Yazidi women, Ezda got angry and broke her silence, “I was only 13 years old when ISIS abducted me. I was just a child when they took me to Telafer. I grew up in one day.”

“ISIS members blocked our way when we tried to flee from Shengal. My family was an ordinary family. I was a child. I used to go to school with my siblings and play games with my friends. We were a happy family. Yazidis didn’t do anything to deserve these. Every day, I used to plan which game should I play with my friends. But everything changed in one day. I heard screams, people were killed, people tried to flee from ISIS. I was shocked and afraid that’s why I never forget that day. I cried for hours in fear. My whole family, my two sisters, six brothers, mother, father, and grandmother, got in a car to flee. But ISIS blocked our way and took all of us. They first took us to a school in Telafer. We were held there for three days and then we were taken to Baduş prison. We were held there for 12 days. They separated us there; they held men in another place. Daesh members tried to take us, three sisters, but my mother didn’t allow them. They hit my mother with their weapons. Then, they handcuffed us and dragged me and my two sisters to the ground. They took one of my sisters to another place; I haven’t seen her since then. They put us in a room; there were other Yazidi girls there. Then, Daesh members entered the room to choose a girl for them. They chose me and my sister. We thought they would take us to another place but they didn’t. They raped us there. I was just 13 years old and I was disgusted when Daesh members touched me. That day, I hated the whole world. We screamed but they raped us for hours. Humanity failed when Yazidi women were raped and tortured. I do not believe that this world has a conscience.”

“I was sold to a Daesh member from Mosul”

Ezda had faced the hardest turning point of her life in that room. She had known she would face many other things but she would never bow down. Ezda continued to talk about what they had faced;

“Daesh members sold me and my sister to Daesh members from Mosul. The Daesh member, who bought me, sold me to another Daesh member after holding me for a while. The house of the Daesh member bought my sister was close to the house I was held. One day, I saw her by chance. I didn’t see her again but knowing that she was close to me made me feel good. I knew I wasn’t alone. The name of Daesh member, who bought me, was Garaj. He had two wives. He bought me as servant and slave. I was a hostage in their house. I was banned from leaving the house. Whenever I went out, someone came with me and I had to wear a black burqa. Garaj and his wives inflicted violence against me. They forced us to convert into Islam. They forced me to read Quran, perform prayer and fast but I rejected all of them. They tortured me for rejecting them.  I still have scars on my body.”

Erza showed us the scars on her body and her wrist as a result of tight handcuff.

“I felt like living in hell”

Ezda still stands firm. She never bows down despite torture and rape. “They tortured me but I always resisted them. Whenever they battered me, I responded to them. Sometimes, they gave me a mobile phone to talk with my family. Only my married sister was at home, I called her. I spoke Kurdish and they recorded my voice to translate it later. I tried to find a way to run away but I didn’t find it. There were two female and male Daesh members in the house. They didn’t even let me breathe. Garaj and a woman named Maha tortured me the most. The man raped me in front of his wives. The women saw this as very normal. Garaj raped me whenever he wanted. Every day there was like hell for me. I felt like living in hell.”

Ezda escaped from ISIS as wounded

Ezda was held captive by ISIS for three years when Iraqi forces launched an operation against ISIS in Mosul. When Ezda heard that she felt extremely happy. “It was a hope for our liberation. Everywhere was bombed. I heard the sound of bullets. Daesh members fled and left all Yazidi women in houses. Warplanes shelled the house I was in. I was wounded in my chest. I left the house; there were two Yazidi girls in the neighboring houses. I took them with me. We took off black burqas and threw them. I held the hands of two girls and we walked towards the Iraqi forces. There were women, who were members of Daesh. The Iraqi forces opened fire on us. ‘We are Yazidi girls, don’t shoot us,’ we shouted. Fortunately, they heard our voices and stop opening fire on us.”

Ezda’s two sisters, two brothers, and mother escaped from ISIS

Iraqi forces members told Ezra they would give her to her family. ‘But my family members were killed,” Ezra told them. Iraqi forces members sent Ezra to a refugee camp. Ezra found her two sisters in the camp. Her mother escaped from Daesh three months after Ezra had escaped. Ezra’s family paid a ransom for her two brothers to rescue them. “My brother, father, grandmother, and many relatives are still held captive by Daesh,” Ezra told us.

After escaping from ISIS, Ezra lived in a refugee camp controlled by the KDP for a while. Now, Ezra, her two sisters, two brothers, and mother live in their village. During our long conversation, Ezra often told us, “What I faced wasn’t my fault. I am not responsible for what happened to me. This world is responsible for what happened to us.”