SARA POURKHAZRI

Kermanshah — For many women, divorce is not the end of pain, but the beginning of a harsher battle—a battle that places them in direct confrontation with family expulsion, the hunger of poverty, and the bars of a patriarchal gaze.

She had promised herself that the first man who proposed to her would be the one she would marry—not driven by love, but as an escape from a home where she felt increasingly suffocated day by day. She imagined that beyond the walls of that home, freedom and a better life awaited her. Yet she found herself, after marriage, in a more terrifying cage. In the end, between remaining with an abusive husband or returning to her father's house, she chose divorce—a decision that represents the beginning of salvation for many, but for her, it was a return to an old prison. Her family forced her, through blame, expulsion, and restrictions, to remain in her father's home—not as a daughter of the family, but as a woman who must pay the price of her divorce.

This is not merely one woman's narrative; it is the story of many women who, after divorce, face abuse from those closest to them, in addition to prejudice and social exclusion. Women who are forced to visit relief institutions such as the "Imdad Committee" and the "Social Welfare Organization" to secure their most basic needs. Although many women in recent years have broken the taboo of divorce to escape unhealthy marriages, the patriarchal dominance entrenched in the family, society, and cultural structures has made the path to independence and starting a new life more difficult for them.

"Nakin.F," a resident of the Hafiziya neighborhood in Kermanshah, eastern Kurdistan, who has been divorced for two years, says: "After the separation, my father explicitly told me: 'You have no right to return home,' and forced me to live in a corner of the courtyard inside a storage room. For two years, I have been living like a prisoner. They give me only food, and I have no income other than government support (Yaraneh)."

She added: "I visited the Imdad Committee several times with my mother, and after much back-and-forth, hardship, and explaining my circumstances, they only allocated a meager monthly stipend of no more than two million tomans. I am forced to live on this paltry sum. My father constantly tells me: 'I wish it was your body that returned, not you. You have disgraced us, and you will remain a burden on us for the rest of your life.'"

Divorce: The Beginning of Salvation or the Start of a New Punishment?

In many families, divorce is not viewed as an individual right, but as a stain on honor. Instead of receiving support, women face blame, restrictions, and abuse. This perspective seeks to instill in them the idea that after divorce, they are no longer worthy of respect or independent life. But what is the root of this degrading treatment of divorced women?

Ronak Marabi (pseudonym), a psychologist in Kermanshah, says: "In patriarchal societies, a woman is often defined not as an independent human being, but as free labor or a tool for reproduction. In this view, a woman's value is tied to serving her family and then her husband, and her return to her father's home after divorce or widowhood is considered unacceptable. The root of this view is excessive preoccupation with the concept of virginity; some families consider a divorced woman a 'used' and worthless individual. For this reason, many women, upon returning to their father's home, face humiliation, restrictions, expulsion, and harmful behaviors designed to instill in them the belief that they are no longer young or worthy of respect."

When Poverty and Violence Continue After Divorce

"Mounir.B," a woman who faced severe violence from her family and ex-husband after seeking divorce, says: "After I made the decision to divorce, my father beat me severely and angrily said: 'You have no right to divorce—you are a mother of two boys.' Under pressure and fear, I was forced to return to my husband's house. But conditions there were no better; since my family had rejected me and I had been humiliated there, my husband exploited this situation and increased his abuse and harassment of me."

She explains: "One night, he beat me so badly that I lay unconscious on the floor for several hours. When I told my father that my husband was beating me, he simply said: 'A woman who seeks divorce with two children—this is her right and her punishment.' These words and actions left me with no refuge. In the end, despite all the difficulties, I obtained a divorce. Now I live in the 'Vakil Agha' neighborhood in a tiny house of only twenty square meters. My only source of income is government support, which barely covers our monthly bread, and my children are hungry all the time."