ZEYNEB XELÎF

Deir ez-Zor – Despite the passage of time and social awareness advancing in some regions, child marriages and forced marriages through berdel still persist in the countryside of Deir ez-Zor Canton. Often young women are married off without their consent, while at other times they are prevented from marrying because of obligations “for a relative.” In short, women are turned into a subject of bargaining.

Marriage decisions are made in councils formed by men. Weddings are announced as part of traditional practices such as “bedle,” “diye,” or “hiyar.” Despite the Family Law issued by the Autonomous Administration, which raises the legal age of marriage and introduces penalties for violations, and despite the awareness campaigns carried out by the Zenubya Women’s Community, Deir ez-Zor society has not responded sufficiently. Families and young women who seek change face great social pressure and the threat of exclusion.

‘No one asks what she wants’

Subha El-Hemed from Deir ez-Zor describes the tragic situation as follows:

“A woman has no say. When they say ‘her time has come,’ the matter is closed, and she is forced to marry. No one asks her what she wants. She endures, she is told to be patient. And when problems arise, they tell her, ‘Be patient, this is your fate.’”

Subha El-Hemed shares stories of girls who were forced to marry relatives or pushed into berdel marriages. Here, marriage becomes a transaction unrelated to human feelings or rights.

“Berdel” marriage

One of the most dangerous forms of traditional marriage is considered to be berdel. One young woman is married off in exchange for another; in this way, marriages are carried out like a trade. The fates of the two marriages are bound together—if one ends, the other must also be ended. Subha El-Hemed summarizes this practice:

“They say: I gave you my daughter, now you give me your daughter or your sister for my son. And if things don’t go the way we want, we will return your daughter to you.”

Child marriages

Haya El-Ahmed, one of the administrators of the Zenubya Women’s Community Reconciliation Committee, draws attention to child marriages, saying:

“Of course, a little girl does not know life, she does not know marriage, she does not know her rights. Many girls return to their families devastated, lost, or divorced.”

She explains that in berdel marriages, one divorce forces another: “If one divorces, the other must also divorce. The man says, ‘My sister is divorced, why is your daughter still with me?’ As if girls were not human beings but items of trade.”

Another widespread practice in the region is marrying young girls to elderly men. Haya El-Ahmed comments on this as follows:

“They marry off a 14–15-year-old girl to a man who is 60–70 years old. The child thinks she will play games, wear a white dress, be happy… But in reality, she begins a lifetime of suffering.”

Awareness efforts bring hope

Haya El-Ahmed says awareness efforts are starting to yield concrete results:

“We explained the dangers of child marriage, we talked a lot. The cases have begun to decrease. We no longer receive the same number of berdel or child marriage cases as before.”

The Zenubya Women’s Community is running campaigns aimed at raising awareness in society against forced marriage, discrimination, and exclusion. Through open dialogues with families, field activities, reports, and campaigns, they are working to change society’s perspective on child marriage.